My Grace Is Sufficient

Sometimes things dont go exactly as we plan. But no matter what comes our way we KNOW that God is in control and that God is ALWAYS good. It is with a grieving, yet hopeful heart I write this.

Today Samantha and I were scheduled to have our 10-week pregnancy exam. We were scheduled to meet with our doctor to see how our baby was progressing. It was suposed to be a quick doctors appointment with a few errands to run afterward.

Instead, during our exam, the doctor was not able to locate the heartbeat of our baby. This worried us because we were able to hear it so strongly at 6 weeks. After a few minutes of trying with the handheld speaker device, she decided to take us in a room with an actual ultrasound machine. But she was still not able to find the heartbeat.

She immediately sent us to an X-Ray and Ultrasound specialist that confirmed what I believe our doctor already knew. Our little baby's heart had stopped beating. We had a miscarriage.

The whole way to the specialist I tried to comfort Samantha, I was worried too, but I wanted to be strong for her. I kept thinking well maybe they just got the weeks wrong and they think they should hear/see something that is not quite developed. But after I saw the screen I knew that what I was seeing wasn't right. It broke me, and it was all I could do from breaking down into tears right there. Samantha must of been able to see it in my face. I could see the screen but she couldn't.

From there we were sent back to our doctors office.

This was some of the most painful new I have ever had, and I know it was especially hard for Samantha. I think it is for every mother. The felling of loss is almost unbearable. I know that she was so very excited about being a mommy. And I know that she had already developed a special connection with our baby. All we could do was cry and praise God through the tears and hurt.

Everyone at our doctors office was so kind and gracious to us, the really were a blessing during this time, they were patient, comforting, gentle and genuinely compassionate, as they explained everything to us.

Now as I write this, it still seems like a bad dream. It really doesn't seem real. I think of all the planning and preparation and it hurts, it hurts a lot. I miss our baby.

I am so proud of Samantha, I know she is hurting but she turned to God in faith and claimed the promise of Romans 8:28-29 and as we both had done before, we told God once again, "This baby is yours. Your will be done."

I want to say thank you to all those who already heard about it, for your kind words and prayers. Please continue to pray for us, and especially Samantha during this time. We trust that God knows what is best and we believe that He will send us a baby in His perfect time.

Adam and Samantha

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9


PS Little one, we are excited to meet you in heaven.