Betrothal Documentary....

This past week I received and e-mail from a lady at a company (Kinetic Content) that is doing a Betrothal Documentary. They are looking for people who are currently going through a betrothal. 

Please understand that not everything in this video will be something we necessarily believe. There will be a few different religious backgrounds represented. They will have their own understanding of what betrothal is. We have chosen to post this because we have some readers who might fall into this category. We thought it might be interesting for you guys to see how different families approach the subject of Dating, Courtship and Betrothal.


To see how Samantha and I did it please visit the Betrothal and Wedding tabs above.

They are currently doing a documentary on a young lady in Atlanta, (see video) and have become very impressed/intrigued with Biblical betrothal, that they are seeking 4 more families to follow. 

They are willing to pay them to share their experience on film. The film crew would film some of the events, but they have stated that they will not intrude or be over bearing. 

They are also looking for people who have already gone through betrothal experience to share some of their thoughts and insights.

They have also stated that anyone who participates will have the ability to view the portions of documentary they are in and the footage before it is aired. So they can make sure they are not being portrayed in any way but factual.

This company is not a Christian company, so please take that into consideration.

I have included the entire e-mail and also a sample video that they have already been working on. Please read it all the way through, then if you are interested you can contact her.

This might be a great opportunity to share your testimony. 

Please watch the video and read the following e-mail.

IMPORTANT!

Please pray and seek God before you do anything, also be wise with your information before you give anything out. 

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Matthew 10:16

Hi Adam,

My name is Andrea and I am the one that contacted you via youtube regarding your betrothal story. I came across your youtube link and your blog and would love to speak with you further about your betrothal experience.  Right now I am in the process of researching Biblical Betrothal with the ultimate intent on doing an unbiased, informative documentary series where we follow families (hopefully up to 4 different families) who are going through this unique process.

We are currently filming with a family based outside of Atlanta who have a 20 year old daughter who is going through the process.  It has been such an interesting and beautiful path to marriage, that we would like to expand this documentary to include other families as well.  Please see the links at the bottom of the page to see a sample of what we've filmed with them and to get an idea for our vision with this project.

I work for a production company called Kinetic Content based out of Santa Monica, CA.  We are a  fairly new company (have been around for less than a year) and focus on documentaries and docu-series for film and television.  We are a secular production company but our staff consists of a variety of religious backgrounds.  I myself, grew up in an Anglican household and am a firm believer in God and the power of prayer.  While Kinetic is not a Christian company, we are mature and seasoned documentarians who feel that this topic should be properly documented and shared.  Betrothal is such a fascinating idea and we've seen the proof that when done correctly and centered around God, it really works.

I wanted to reach out to you to see if you know of any other couples who are currently in the process of going through a betrothal who might be interested in working with us on this project.

The series will follow young couples  as they enter this important life transition. This is a wonderful  opportunity to spread the word about this path towards marriage to a large audience.
Ideally, we would like to film each family during the most important betrothal steps...ie- the betrothal ceremony, the preparation of the home, wedding preparations and then the actual wedding ceremony.  We wouldn't be filming every single day, just the important moments that highlight the steps of the Biblical Betrothal process.

I would also like to mention that in return for allowing us to be part of these very important occasions, each couple we film with will receive $1,500 for each part that they are in. We are hoping to break the documentary into an 8 part documentary series.  Ideally we would love to have them featured in each of the 8 parts which could lead to
a total of $12,000 appearance fee. We are also offering a $500 "finders fee," for anyone that can direct us to families who end up participating. Or we will gladly donate that fee to a charity of their choice.
While we know that we have nothing but the  sincerest intentions with this project, we completely understand that letting us film such intimate and important moments of their lives can be scary.    Therefore, we would like to let all potential couples know that we would like to offer them the option of viewing clips of their segments before they air and welcome their feedback.  We want them to be at ease with us and this process and want them to be able to know that they can rest their trust in us and in our intentions with this project.

As of right now, we have three different networks interested in buying this documentary series.  Discovery Channel, History Channel and the Oprah Winfrey Network have all expressed interest and we are currently working with them to find the best home for this project to air on.

  I am still doing preliminary research and any tips or resources he can point me towards would be appreciated. Any ideas  on newsletters, blogs, churches or any other ways to reach out to these families would be greatly appreciated.

If you know of any couples that you think would be interested in participating, I would love to speak with them.  Please feel free to pass this information along to anyone you think would be interested or know someone who would be.  If you have any questions, please feel free to give me a call.  Thank you for your time and consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Many blessings,

Andrea McHugh
630.745.0906
www.kineticcontent.com

Derrick's Decision

Derrick Freeman is going to college to become an accountant, but is college really God's will for him? If not, he could be faced with the possibility of giving up his future, his career, and even the chance to find the right wife. When God's answer comes, Derrick realizes he must make one of the biggest decisions of his entire life.

Decisions, Decision, Decisions!!!

They face us every day. None seem to be as overwhelming as should I go to college or should I not. Many of us have thought, where am I going to find my spouse, if I don't go off to college. Then we remember the testimony of so many who have told us stories about how they dated at college and met their spouse. In our hearts and minds we being to think, maybe thats where I need to go, to college.

If college is God's perfect will for your life, by all means do not hesitate, follow God. Bible college can be a great asset. It can help shape and instill character into you. It can help you learn the in's and out's of ministry. It can be a great blessing. Yes, God could lead you to the perfect one at college. All of these are not the issue, the issue is do you have to go looking for the one, or could God bring you the one right where you are. If you are considering college as a means to an end, (the end of singleness), then may I present to you a little book called Derrick's Decision .

Could God really being me a spouse in my little home town? In my little home church? Our answer is yes!

That is exactly what God did for Samantha and Myself. 

Start at the begging (first blog) and follow Our Journey of how God brought us together. 

It truly was a Divine Betrothal.

Decisions of Our Own

 I knew in my heart I was right in God's perfect will. I had thought about college, but knew there wasn't a peace. Offers to work at other churches came and still no peace. I knew I was where God wanted me, and I am so grateful I stayed. It was here at home that God did a personal revival in my own heart, and helped me get some things straight.

On the other hand God had to move Samantha away for a while to do the same work in her that he was doing in me. God had to take Samantha to be a counselor at Apache Creek Youth and Deaf Ranch, for the summer. Which truly allowed her to surrender to God.


 It was truly amazing how fast God started working when both Samantha and I surrendered to God's will for our life. When we quit worrying about who and when and how come, ect. But rather just said "Ok, God your will be done!, Your way is always best!"


 Only now that we are married, and we review how God was working in our lives at the time, do we see just how amazing it is.

The more I read and study, the more I see things that I wish I would of done different, but through God's amazing guidance, as both Samantha and Myself gave everything to God, HE worked it out amazingly in his perfect way and His perfect time.

If you want to avoid the hurt, do it God's way.

You might be thinking how do I even know what God's will for my life is?

Romans 12:1-2 tells how to find the will of God for our life. In these verses we find God's prerequisite for revealing His perfect will.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

In these verses we have a picture of the almighty God, begging us. Begging us to do what? To present your body as a living sacrifice. This means that each day of our life we are to give our life to God. Much the same way as you would give and award or a gift to someone.

Think of it this way, if you were going to give a gift, you wouldn't give it to them in some old dirty wrapping paper. You would want to dress it up. If you gave it to them all dirty and tattered, it would be like telling them, "I didn't really want to give this to you." "You are not worth it."

God says that our bodies, while there is life in them, should be presented daily to him. How? As a living sacrifice. We ought to be giving him our best. Are you sacrificing daily for the Lord?

Holy

This means with all purity. Not with what we consider pure, but with what God considers pure. His standard is perfection. If we are not careful we will begin to compare ourselves with others. Then based on that comparison we will decide if we are doing good or not. The only bad part about that is that is not God''s standard. And we can always look for someone who is further away from Christ then us, thus making us feel better about our self, while at the same time not being any more holy.

Acceptable Unto God

Along the same lines. We are to find out what God says is acceptable. What God says is right, not what we think is right. Our heart might say I'm doing pretty good. But God says, you are to be acceptable unto him.  We are to be what God expects us to be.

Which is your reasonable service.

God says this is the least that you should do. After all he has done for you. This is our responsible service. This is the only thing that makes sense to do.

With all that Christ has done for us. His death on the cross for us so that we could have a home in heaven, so that we could have life and have it more abundantly. Knowing that soon the rapture will happen and we will all give an account for what we did with our life. God says not only is it what you need to do, but it is the least that you should do for all that he has done for you. God gave his life for you, you should give your life for him!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Be not conformed, Be Transformed

What is the difference between conformed and transformed?

Conformed is to be pressed or pressured. Pressured by the world.
Think of it like play-doh molds. You stick the lump of play-doh in the mold and press hard and out comes a conformed peace of play-doh, the spitting image. 


The pressures of the world, seem to push and push, and try to make us like them. All throughout our society the goal of Satan is to make us Christians like he world. Though things like TV, Movies, Music, Magazines, Billboards, ect. Everything is telling us, dress this way, act this way, be this way, if not you are not cool. Yet God expects us to be different. Can the lost tell we are Christians? 

Transformed is to be changed from the inside out. Like a butterfly in a cocoon. The  greek word used in the Bible for transform is metamorphoō which is where we get the word metamorphosis. We are to to be constantly transformed by the renewing of our mind. 

As we fill our hearts and minds with the Word of God, it begins to purge us, and shape us into what Christ would have us to be, Holy.

This is the Goal of God, while the devil wants you to be like the world, God wants you to be set apart and holy. To be not like the world. 


So many Christians say that Jesus changed their life, and yet, their lifestyle does not bear witness of that. They still watch the same things, listen to the same things, dress the same way, go to the same places.

That ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God

Then God will show to us what is that good, acceptable and perfect will, that he has for us. God's desire is for us to know his perfect will. But if our hearts our not focused and centered on him, if he were to show us that perfect will, we would run. 

The best way to find the will of God is to let God discern your heart, intentions and motives. Seek God and ask him to reveal any hidden sin in your life.
Seek the guidance and wisdom of your authorities. (Parents and Pastor) and let them help you make the decisions.


Then...

Surrender to it, before you know what it is!

Mandy and the Mix Up

Mandy Dixon is already twenty-six and still not spoken for. Her only option in sight is her life-long friend, Clyde Anderson, but Clyde advises her to wait for God’s perfect choice. Mandy wants to trust her friend’s counsel, but who ever heard of Divine betrothal? And did God really have someone special picked out for her from the time she was born? Mandy’s about to find out that a mix-up in her past may hold the key to her future.

You've been there, especially if you are from a small town or church. You think "Well I'm getting to that age, the age of marriage." And you start to look around and think "Hum... Maybe they are the one, because I really don't see anyone else my age, here."

If we are not careful this will lead us to focus on one person, instead of the ONE. Or we will secretly start to become discontent at home, thinking that we have to get out into the world to find the right one. The mind might think, How am I going to find the one here, there is no one here. (Samantha and I both are from the same church.)


I didn't always think this way.....

 I can remember thinking, "God hasn't called me away, and Bible college isn't a realistic option at this time in my life. So what should I do?" 

Now at this time in my life no one had ever taught about Divine Betrothal, or even courtship, and so my heart was filled with what I would call a dating spirit. A spirit that caused my heart/mind/thoughts to jump from girl to girl. To give pieces of my heart away emotionally.

I can remember thinking maybe "she" is the one. Then I would go talk to my pastor and he would advise me to wait, fast and pray about it. And I would go away kind of discouraged knowing  it was not God's will and knowing my pastor didn't believe it was God's will either.

 Then wouldn't you know it, God would shut the door in that area (to protect me, and help me keep my heart for Samantha, though I didn't know it at the time). So then in my foolish mind I would think "Ok not 'her' so then maybe 'her.'" ---- What a silly cycle, I was in. I am so grateful the Lord protected me, from going down the wrong road.

 Each time you think of another "her" that might be "the one". You will make the big mistake of seeking to get to know her and try to be what you think "she" likes. It leads to being deceptive all in the name of "love". Trying to pretending to be what you think a particular person wants, and trying to make them like you, is not fair to them and not fair to you. It causes a person to mold their personality to be what they think the other person wants, and sadly not on what God wants them to be. 

Little did I know that I didn't need to make a girl like me, God would do that for me. All I had to do was wait and prepare. Over time and much bible study God led me to some personal convictions about dating and courting. I would seek to try and find the right way to court a girl. Boy did I have a hard time finding that out. It seemed that every one has different ideas, but I didn't want another idea, I wanted the Biblical way! Sadly only after a broken hearted experience of my own, did I begin to really take it seriously. To earnestly seek God's way of finding a mate, and establishing a future home based on a biblical foundation.

I knew that a broken heart was way to painful, and I just couldn't imagine thousands of young Christians going through that feeling several times in their life, before they found the one.

Over time and much study and observation of several bible colleges and personal friends, I began to see that courting was much like dating. I would hear of people who would date, or court, with the intention of seeing if they were compatible, only to later hear how the relationship ended in tears and heartbreak. 

I knew that God had to have a better way. I was led to this series of books, This is where I first heard of the term Divine Betrothal. 

http://lcbplansing.org/Books/Ladies.htm

Since that time I have had many discussions with people, young and old. Some agree and some disagree with the idea. All I know is that I believe it, and I know its true because that is exactly what God did for me. He didn't work it out as perfectly as He could of, because of some mistakes I made. But he did work a miracle!

 Doing things this way has produced a closeness that I really cant describe, but I now understand better the level of closeness the Lord wants each one of us to have with Him. A tender, "save your all, give your all", closeness.

My only regret is that I wish I would of trusted the Lord more, and leand not unto my own understanding. Every time I got scared and tried to take control I hindered the Lord's perfect plan. But when I was finally able to truly trust the Lord, and let Him take over every part of it. HE DID A MIRACLE!

Don't let your loneliness or fear make you think it cant happen for you, it can!

Bethany’s Betrothal

Bethany Olsen, age twenty-two, desires nothing more than to be happily married. After having faced three heartbreaks, things aren’t looking so good. Realizing she can no longer endure the pain of rejection, Bethany promptly turns her back on courtship and leaves the choice of her mate entirely up to God. Not until she truly learns to put her full faith and trust in God, is Bethany granted the Divine betrothal she has been prayerfully seeking.----Sarah Lynn Shade 

Fist off let me say, that as an Independent fundamental Baptist, it is a great blessing to find books that are written by people of like faith, it produces a sense of security and enjoyment for me as I read. This is one of those books.

This is where it all began for me. I had never heard of Divine Betrothal, but somehow in my heart I always knew it existed. Even before I was saved I just believed that there was one person for me. I never felt like wasting my time with someone who wasn't the one I was going to marry. After I got saved and over time I just grew to accept what is commonly called "courtship". 

By courtship I mean the idea that you think this could be the one so you enter a relationship. This relationship has rules like no touching or kissing or being alone, but it is mostly designed to see if the couple is compatible. If they are, they progress to an engagement if not they break up and seek another relationship with someone else. In my experience "courtship" is nothing more then "Christian dating". And in most cases leads to heartbreak. Its a traumatic event to spend any time with some one that you think might be the one, to give pieces of your heart to them, only to find out that one or both feel its not right. 

I was listening to the vice-president of a Bible college preach and he said that "these young people (speaking of the students) are at least four people removed from who they will marry." I got to thinking about that. That means that at the best, there will be 6 broken hearts for every successful dating/courting relationship that ends in marriage. In my heart I was grieved and said "there has to be a better way". Anyone who has had a broken heart will sympathise and recognize how painful of a statistic that is. God never designed for us to have to date around to find the one that He created for us.

We have a dangerous combination, that of loneliness and courting/dating, and all it is producing is a lot of young people who are missing the perfect will of God for their lives, and causing many young people to live in depression and heart break. Instead of young people focusing on God and preparing for their future they are caught up in the boyfriend/girlfriend game.

 I know the feeling of loneliness. I know what it is like. I used to go to the mall and see all the "happy couples". It seemed like everyone had someone, and I had no one. When that feeling sets in, it can be very easy to seek a relationship for the very sake of companionship. In fact most boy/girl friendships end in a relationship because both have that desire to be loved and cared for. You might be in Bible college right now and you see all the "happy couples" and you think, "When Lord, when will my special someone come along." Im here to tell you, that if you leave the choice up to Him, He knows who that person is, He knows where they are, and He is preparing you for each other. The perfect will of God is alive right now somewhere, pray for them, prepare for them, and wait for them. If you are not 100% sure this person is God's will for your life, then wait, pray and seek the guidance of your parents and pastor. In fact I will go so far as to say that getting your authorities permission is a key to making sure you are doing it God's way.

Gen 2:22

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

God impressed upon my heart one day, after nights of Bible study and reading several books most specifically Bethany's Betrothal, that if God made one woman for Adam (Eve) and brought that one woman to Adam in his perfect timing then God would surly do that for this Adam (Me). God used this thought. "Adam how can you believe I will save your soul and take you to heaven when you die, but you can't believe that I will bring you the one I have created for you, to you in my time."  I pondered that thought over and over and decided to surrender to that truth.

I invite you to read the book that helped me finally trust God.  It is part of a series of books and even though it is listed under ladies, it has been very helpful. In fact 3 of the series of books is written from the man's perspective.

I invite you to do a little light reading and explore the world of Bethany's Betrothal. This book can be found at http://lcbplansing.org/Books/Ladies.

I suggest that you read them in order. And make sure to save the last book for the end.

You wil never regret doing things God's way. Keep checking back regularly as I continue to expand on what the Lord has taught me. God's way is the best way!

Marriage Takes Three

Marriage Takes Three

"Marriage takes three to be complete;

It's not enough for two to meet.

They must be united in love

by love's Creator, God above.

A marriage that follows God's Plan

takes more than a woman and a man.

It needs a oneness that can be 

only from Christ. Marriage takes three."

Beth Stuckwisch

Unity in the Home, Unity with God!

As I continue to study the Word of God, and continue to read about biblical marriage and love, it has led me to a deeper understanding of unity. As couples spend time together; talk, laugh, joke, enjoy spiritual moments in prayer and bible study, a bond is produced between the two. A wonderful closeness.

The same bond is generated between us and our Saviour the more time we spend with him in sweet communion. We feel Him, we hear Him, we get to know Him better. A joy flows through us that cannot be produced anywhere else. The joy of the Lord.

However in our relationships we can create a spirit of disunity, someone's feelings get hurt, or we discourage the other, and suddenly a wall goes up around the heart. The relationship (marriage/betrothal) is still intact but the fellowship is hindered or even broken. The closeness seems to take a step back. So it is with our Lord, when we sin, we grieve him and we set up a wall between Him and us. The relationship (salvation) is still intact but the fellowship is hindered. And we feel that we are not close to our Lord as we once were. The only way back to sweet fellowship is repentance.

Someone might say "yup you are right, THEY sure do need to repent, they were the one that was wrong." May I say that if you have this spirit of 'they were wrong and I am right' that your sweet fellowship will never be restored. It will take humility and repentance on both parts, a spirit that is focused on how YOU hurt the other person and NOT on how they hurt you. The same principle is true with our Lord, if we want fellowship restored we must remember we are the ones who sinned and we must focus on our wrong and ask our Lord for forgiveness. Psalm 51 David gives us this picture of personal repentance, over and over he uses the word "I". "For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me"

With your spouse and with your God, you must keep a spirit of unity. When they hurt you, dont 'hold out' till they come and apologize to you, seek to restore the sweetness as soon as possible. Remove the spirit of pride, and come seeking restoration. You will be glad you did!

Proverbs 13:10a Only by pride cometh contention:

In every relationship of life we will have disagreements and misunderstandings, but we must remember that the key to restoration lies with us. We must be honest when we are hurt, seek forgiveness when we are wrong, and desire to remove the pride so that we will have sweet communion with each other.

Always remember love is a choice, its not based on feelings but on a choice you make.

Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.