Friday, February 25, 2011

Shopping Can Be Fun!?!?

SURE! You just have to go with someone you love!

Picking out dresses for your future little girl!

 My brother Alex, having a little fun himself!

But no matter what it all ends the same!

We want to thank Dad (Alex) Lindy, and Alex Jr. for making today so much fun for us.


Take time to have fun, with the one you love.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

He loves me, He loves me not

Love is not about cards, or candy or flowers, but about two people who God has brought together for the purpose of marriage. Love is not about a holiday. Its not about cupid, with his little tranquilizer darts. It is an expression of the deep feelings that cannot br expressed with words. It's about Christ and his love for us. It is only by Christ's love in us that we are able to love others.

The words "I love you" are key words of commitment to a person, especially to a lady. They are the words that she has longed to hear all her life from the one who will love her with all his heart. The words "I Love You" open up a door to the heart that once set in motion can be almost impossible to stop. To a lady the words "I love you" are associated with the words "forever" and "you are my one and only". That produce a emotional permanence in her heart. Almost like an emotional wedding ring around her heart. 

You see it almost everywhere, people saying "I love you", with very little thought, emotion, or even purpose. It is almost as if it has become a habit. A routine.

In many cases people say the word "love" in relation to an object. We hear people say "oh I love that movie, or I love that candy" We ought to never let our words of deep affection become a mere habit or formality. Instead we ought to cherish those words, protect those words and only use those words when they are 100% from the heart.

At the same time we ought to never use those words as a tool to get what we want.
Enter Samson and Delilah
And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.

We read of the sad account in the book of Judges of Samson and Delilah. At this point in Samson's life he has made some pretty bad choices. And along the pathway of wrong choices he comes across a woman named Delilah.

And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.
Judges 16:15

Delilah, tells Samson "How can you say you love me, if you dont tell me your secret. If you really loved me you would tell me". Today we have young people (especially boys telling this same line to young girls) telling this to each other out of wicked, lustful motives. Much the same way Delilah told this to Samson. A young person will say "If you really loved me you would let me kiss you, or let me touch you." Using "love" as a tool for lust. How wicked is that?

And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;
Judges 16:16

But it didn't stop there, Delilah continued to pressure him and use what ever means necessary to try to get him to give in to her evil request.  Even emotional manipulation.

We see this very thing happening with young people. They will press and press, and pressure and pressure to get the other to give in. And then after weeks and weeks (maybe less) of pressure and deceptive words like "if you really loved you would..." The young person gives in and gives away their purity. The sad thing is many young people really believe this is love.

At the same time we have Samson, who makes the mistake of telling all his heart.

That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.
Judges 16:17

This is most commonly seen in ladies. Ladies are primary emotional led. But in this case it's Samson who is giving away the deep secrets of his heart. For ladies this is dangerous because once the heart is opened emotionally, it will not be long before the body is given away. (This is not wrong, actually this is God plan. During your betrothal period if you desire to be emotionally and physically pure, then you will have guards up on your heart. The idea is to slowly let them down the closer you get to the wedding date, so that way the heart first then the bodies can be connected and united, at the marriage alter, all in perfect purity.)

Ladies beware with how much you share with any guy, you will become attached and not even know it. Your heart will trick you into thinking you are just friends. Remember this saying, "Be friendly to all but special to none, so that way God can lead you to the one."

What will happen if I gave my heart away too soon? It will start the process and because it cannot be righteously fulfilled, it will turn into emotional defrauding and later become immorality. Young lady if you desire to guard your heart in the area of purity, you must understand this principle:

Before the body is ever given away, almost always the heart has been given away first.

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it [are] the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23

The word keep means:
We are to keep... (1) to guard, watch, watch over, keep
a) (Qal)
1) to watch, guard, keep
2) to preserve, guard from dangers
3) to keep, observe, guard with fidelity
4) to guard, keep secret
5) to be kept close, be blockaded
          6) watchman (participle)

...our heart with all diligence so we will be protecting ourself from going down the road of defrauding.

We have all heard the saying, "You never forget your first love." The reason that is so is because, God never desired your heart to love another, just one (the love we are talking about here is the love between a man and woman).

God preprogrammed the heart to love one person and to love them for life. Each time you get close to someone and begin to like them "as more then a friend", you give a piece of your heart to them. This is the start of the bonding process that was designed only for marriage. Each piece of your heart you give away to someone that you will not marry, is one less piece that you will have for your spouse.

Brother Adam, why are you so against dating? Because it is a clear violation of this principle. It plays games with the heart, and is based on selfish motives. Dating brings a person way to close to this line, then expects them to turn off their heart (emotions) if it doesn't work out. But God has placed in you and me the desire to never stop loving our spouse, no matter how tough things get. God created us to bond with our spouses, so much so that God says we become one. Because of this oneness, we bond quick and permanently. Now in some cases its more extreme then others. And the more times you get your heart broken it makes it harder for your heart to trust. Over time when you do meet the one you will marry, you will take lots of emotional baggage into your marriage relationship. Things like jealousy, lust, anger, distrust, comparison ect.

So as the result of the boyfriend/girlfriend game we have all of these people struggling with broken hearts. What we have is a bunch of young people (and old alike) getting emotionally attached to the wrong person, giving their hearts and when the inevitable comes, they break up, and experience the excruciating pain of a broken heart. When they find out they dont like this person anymore, or this person doest make me happy, or someone better comes along, they break up. This creates a pattern that doesn't not end in marriage. Once they do decide to get married, and things dont go the way they planned, or the other person doesn't make them happy anymore, they break up, only this time they call the break up divorce.
If you have had a broken heart, or are struggling with a broken heart, may I suggest a book for you, that Samantha and I both 100% endorse. 
The Book is called Healing Words for Hurting People, By Dr. James Wilkins.

Young person leave the choice up to God, avoid the pain of a broken heart, do it God's way. Take it from someone who knows. You will never regret it!

Let me finish with this truth, it wasn't until about a month to go before the wedding that I told Samantha the words she longed to hear. Why? Because I wanted to protect her heart and keep it on proper pace for the wedding. If I would of told her too soon, it would of emotionally defrauded her. The truth is this, I love Samantha, and have loved her for a long time, but in not telling her I loved her proved just how much I love her.  I am so grateful for her patient and understand heart. She didn't quite understand why, but she trusted me enough to follow my lead. I am so grateful for that.

Love is caring more about what someone else needs, then what you want.

He loves ME!

Monday, February 21, 2011

26 Days!

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
Psalm 90:12

As each day passes, God has been pressing this thought on my heart; the same excitement I feel about our wedding, the same certainty that it is coming soon, is the same excitement and certainty that I ought to feel about the coming of Christ. My prayer is that I would be found working when HE returns!

He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
Revelation 22:20

"Lord help me to plan for 100 years, but be ready and watching every second"

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Linda the Loser

"Adam, Im glad you want me to be a stay at home mom..."

Linda The Loser

Unlike her prospering and successful friends, Linda is required to remain at home and serve under her dad's watchful eye until the day her hand is given away in marriage. She feels like such a loser. Who would ever want to marry her? Linda's fears soon subside when she learns that the choice belongs to God and those who lose their life for His sake, find it.

Are you in the same situation as Linda? Do you feel like all your friends are living life, but you are stuck at home?

I wasn't raised in a Christian home, nor did I attend a Christian School. In fact I wasn't saved until I was 18. So growing up in a home that was your "average" "good" home, produced a lot of worldly attitudes into my heart. But as I have grown as a Christian, God has been teaching many things, especially about the value of the (Biblical) Christian home. God has also been teaching me about the kind of home that I want to have.

 No, I havent always valued a stay at home mom like I do now. And at the same time I understand that in some homes having a stay at home mom is just not possible.
One of the greatest women I know wasn't able to be a stay at home mom. She was actually divorced when her kids were in 2nd and 6th grade as a result of some sad circumstances on all parities involved. This lady was up and off to work (5:00 AM) before her kids were up and ready to school, and she didn't get home till about 6pm, why? Because she was working to take care of ME and My brother. Yes I am talking about my mom, and only today as a 28 year  old man can I truly appreciate how much she has sacrificed for me. She is the reason I am in the ministry. She used to tell me "Adam you are my missionary." I had the privilege to have a part in my mom's salvation, and in return because of her love and support she has shared in all the joys and victories I have been able to have with and for the Lord. No matter what, surrender your life to God and he can use you!

Young person God has a plan for you.
 Dont get caught up in the feeling that you are missing out because you are 'stuck' at home and your friends are out working, or at college or able to have loose rules and get to do what they want. I can tell you from my own personal experience that having loose rules only hurts. It allows you to travel down an unsupervised  road of sin. 

If you have loving parents, who love you enough to keep track of you and make sure you are safe, by giving you rules, then stop right now to thank them. Thank them for saving you from many hurtful and regrettable experiences. Those rules might be the very thing that allow you to stay pure, or keep you free from addictions, or set a path for you to follow in the ministry.

See the value in being placed where you are

In the story of Linda the Loser, she is tempted with the very temptations some of you are struggling with. She has friends that are working or off at college and they are telling her of all the "wonderful things she is missing out on". 

Being at home, cooking and cleaning and taking care of your brother's and sisters might seem like a burdensome task, but realize that it is the best training for caring for your own family. Instead of dreading it, look at it like training for your future husband and family. 

Men working at home fixing things, working with dad, working in the fields or factory can be tiresome, but look at it as, the very training you need to care for your future wife and family. See the value in being placed where you are. God knows what he is doing and he knows what you need. God is always more concerned about what you need, then what you 'think' you want. No matter where you are, you have been placed there by God, and God is preparing you for His work.
 Has has placed you in a training course, so learn.

I am so grateful for Samantha and her ability to care for the home, she has worked hard at learning as much as she can about caring for the home and it is showing now. I admire that she is still learning. She has a heart to be the best help meet to me as she possibly can. And that is a treasure that is above rubies.

Ladies learn as much as you can, while you can. If you are not married, then you are still in training, but soon you wont be training you will be in it.

When I worked at HAZMAT there was two sayings on the wall. One was in a conference room that was used when we had a Hazardous Response call and it said, --- "If you are in here, you had better be ready."

The other quote was "When the time to perform has come, the time to prepare has past."

Both of these have helped me in my long term vision for preparing for my family. No im not perfect, and no I dont have everything figured out, but by God's grace I am going to try and be as prepared as I can be. Then once we are married, I am going to make it my goal to keep learning, so that I might be better husband, father, and teacher of God's word.

Do not let Satan fool you into thinking you are missing out.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Life's Not Perfect

Life is not perfect, there will be hard times. Things will arise that we are not expecting. Things that will catch us off guard. There will be times when we are tired or stressed or overworked...

But it is the memories of the great (sometimes silly) times that will get us through the hard times. The love we have for each other that will motivate us to love even more, especially during the hard times.

The fun has just begun!!
1Pe 4:12Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

1Pe 4:13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

Samantha, I want you to know how much you mean to me. I am extremely grateful for you. 
I love you!

This is just the start, and I guarantee its only going to get sweeter!

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Love in a Bag

If you could put love in a bag it would look like this:

Now i know what some of you are thinking. Some men are thinking "AMEN brother, 'the food' that is a gift from God." And some of you ladies are thinking "Awww how sweet, it has their initials on it." But for me its so much more.

Its been said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I say unto you that the way to a man's heart is through his heart. Find out who he is and what he loves, be willing to be what your man needs you to be for him (out of love, not deception). Be his help meet, the one that was created to help him meet his goals and help him be all that God created him to be. 
Do this and you will get his heart!
Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
I Corinthians 11:9

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

Every day with only a few exceptions Samantha has dropped off lunch at my office. Almost every time it has been something she made, and something delicious I might add. Times like today, when she was running errands and didn't have time, she still made time for me. That's a gift! Not the food, but the one bringing the food.

So if earthly love could be put in a bag it would be this. It truly is a symbol of her love and care for me. Her willingness  to go out of her way to meet my needs.

This ought to be each one of our goals, to seek to meet our fiancĂ©e/spouses needs, to be a giver and not a taker. To meet their needs more then our wants.

Thank you so much Samantha.

...and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Acts 20:35b

Saturday, February 5, 2011

The Perfect Fit

Eph 5:31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

"God gives imperfect women to imperfect men so they can be heirs together of the grace of life and become something more together than either one of them would be alone."

When each one of us was formed of God in our mother's womb, God placed inside of us, a void that only He could fill. Many, over time begin to feel that void in the depths of their soul, and begin trying to fill that emptiness, but nothing seems to fit just right.

Some try drugs to fill the void, some try relationships, some try pleasures, but all seem to be a temporty fix. Like a bucket with holes. It holds water but just for a few minutes, and needs a continual supply, or else it will be just as empty as before.

The only thing that can fill that void is the Lord Jesus Christ! Some may scoff and say, "I tried Jesus and it didn't work for me." Chances are you only had a head knowledge of Jesus. When all we have is a mental understanding that Jesus died for sinners and dont make it personal it is just "religion".  It is just a tempory fix for the void and emptiness you feel. Only by truly accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour will that hole get filled, and not just filled but perfectly filled.

 Jesus didn't just die for our sins, HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS. He longs for you to see your sin as the very reason he died on the cross. As the very nail and hammer that held up on the cross. He longs for you to hate your sin, because of its wickedness and because of what it took to redeem us; the brutal death of a precious Saviour. He longs for you to turn from that sin to Him. To desire in your heart that you no longer want to sin, but want that Salvation that can only come from Him.

1Cr 6:17But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.

When you truly experience Jesus, it will change your life. If you say "I have been saved", but there is no real change in your life or actions, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you if you have truly met Jesus and accepted His Gift of Salvation, or if you just have a head knowledge.

Marriage and relationships are very much the same way. 
Many are seeking for someone to fill the void of emptyness in their heart. They search and search and try and try. They find one, and that person seems to fill the void. Because they give them attecntion, gifts, love, but its just a tempory fix.

Having a boyfriend/girlfriend may seem to be the answer to your loneliness, but in reality it is just a temporary fix. You see, if you are seeking a mate for the sole purpose of curing your loneliness, then you are starting a relationship based on selfish motives. (What they can do for you). It wont be long before this relationship turns south, because in order for a relationship to be healthy both have to be giving. And if you are not getting what you desire you will move on to someone else who will give it. This creates a vicious cycle. So vicious that when you do get married and it doesn't turn out the way you imagined and you are not getting what you desire you will seek it elsewhere. In Divorce. --- Let God show you how to stop that cycle!

Become content with being single, strive to use the time you have as a single person to prepare for your future spouse, and focus all of your energy on serving God. Because while you are single you will have a desire to please only the Lord, but when you are engaged or married your focus will tend to shift more to trying to please your mate. Use your time to prepare! Being single is not a curse, but a gift. It's a time for you to prepare to be the best spouse you can be for the one you will love with all of your heart. What better way to show your love then to seek the Lord and prepare for them!

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please [his] wife. I Corinthians 7:32-33

Dont seek just anyone, seek THE ONE (God) and let
 THE ONE lead you to the one He has created for you. -A-
God has your perfect fit out there!
Just wait for them!

Just like God created you with a void that only he could fill, He has created you with a void that only 'the one' He has created for you can fill. Let look at the illustration of the Jigsaw puzzle"

I'm sure you have worked a jigsaw puzzle at least once in your life. - Sometimes you can be working on a puzzel and find a piece that looks like a perfect fit. You look at it, its the same color, same shape, same style, and it looks just about perfect...BUT when you try to put it in, it just doesn't fit right. So you try and try and finally you say "why wont this piece fit, it has to be the one, but it just doesn't seem to be going in." 

So you set it aside and work on the rest of the puzzle and after about 15 minutes you find a new piece that fits perfectly in the spot that you were working on before. You hold the two pieces up side by side and they look so identical, but one is a perfect fit and the other is not. Its an impostor! And all it has done is wasted your time and energy and left you frustrated. It has taken the time that you could of been using to make more progress, and instead has caused you to lose time that you will never get back . (The wrong piece in some cases it can lead to trouble - more on this topic at a later time)

Dont look for the close fit, look for the perfect fit!

So it is with relationships, God has a perfect fit for you, but often times because we dont let God lead us to the one, we end up with a fit, but its not the perfect fit.

God has shown me the perfect fit for me in Samantha, and God has the perfect fit for you.

Just like God is the perfect fit for your soul (Salvation) He is also the perfect fit for the soul of the one he has created for you. 

Just like God is the perfect fit for your soul, your mate is the perfect fit for you, the world call this person your soul-mate. But God just says "It's your mate, the one I created for you. Why did you spend your time and energy looking, when all you had to do was wait and prepare and I would bring them to you." 

He has perfectly matched you up since before the world was created and is bringing you together in His perfect way and timing.

If you are not saved, the perfect fit is out there, His name is Jesus Christ, let him save you. Realize that you are a sinner, and that He died in your place for the very sins you have commited today, but that he wants to save you and take you to heaven.  If you ask Him to save you, He will save you.

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. Romans 10:13

If your saved, and single then God has your perfect match out there. Dont settle for a temporary piece to fill the void. Spend your time in preparation and service. Chances are your mate will be looking for someone who is sold out, serving the Lord. They will be impressed and grateful by how much you have prepared for them, and them alone.

Eph 5:31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.