...That in all things he might have the preeminence...

Planning a wedding can be a very time consuming task [I'm learning :-) ]. Add to the equation, that of getting to know your betrothed. And it can be very easy to rush your time with the Lord. Morning devotions, evening devotions and personal prayer-closet times can vanish if you are not careful. Even that of door to door visitation can be filled up with appointments.

Before you get involved in a relationship, you must have a plan. A plan? Yes a plan, to protect your heart (and theirs, especially if you are the male) and to make sure it is 100% given to your Lord and "that in all things he might have the preeminence." In my life before I asked Samantha to be my wife, I counseled with my pastor on some safeguards that I wanted to set up in order to make sure God was number one in our lives.

How to set up a plan.

This is not exhaustive, but it will get you started. (This plan assumes that you have made the commitment to get to wedding alter with all purity and have committed not to have any special touches between the two of you.)

Well first off you want to establish that you and your future spouse will continue to grow in the Lord, i.e. continue to read your Bible daily (if not more), pray as much or more then before, and set aside time for just you and the Lord. For Samantha and myself we have made sure that the mornings are that time. We have both agreed that we need this time of personal fellowship with the Lord. NOTE: Try to avoid spending lots of time calling, texting e-mail ect each other. Even though you want to it will be counter productive to the plan.

Next, we have agreed that church time, is just that "church time" this is not a time for us, but rather a time for us to be servants in our local church and to continue serving just as we did before we were betrothed. For us that means that we continue to help in the ministries that we have been placed. Even if that means we cant sit together. (I am in the sound-booth and she plays the piano, but we have both agreed that we are blessed to serve in this ministry.)

Next, a vital area, that many people mess up in, is in the area of guarding their heart. You say guarding your heart, even after you are engaged? Yes! Let me explain. Many a young person knows that they are not to give their heart away to just anyone, lest it get attached to the wrong one, and you miss the one God had for you, or you give away a piece of the heart that should of only been given to the one God created for you. We know that. But the part of this were most fail, is that they think 'well now that I have found the one, now I can give my heart 100% to this person, no holding back', and thus the relationship speeds up at an alarming rate. The danger in this is that most people set their wedding date 6+ months away. And the heart once set in motion has a hard time putting the brakes on. Added to the fact that God designed the heart to be given first then the body. But scripture clearly tells us that is only for a husband and wife. So it is important that the heart pace it self, or "that you lead your heart".

What does it mean to lead your heart? It means that you dont let emotions make decisions for you. It means that you make sure that you dont let your heart get to attached before its time. What you want is for it to gradually get closer to your betrothed. So that the peak is on the wedding day. Then once you are married, its not two hearts but ONE, joined forever. This is how we can avoid defrauding. Yes, its possible to defraud even your own fiancé.

If you gradually give your heart to each other, then your heart wont have to slam on the breaks. If you gradually give your heart to each other then your wedding day will be that much more sweet. If you gradually give your heart you will be protecting yourself from defrauding one another. If you gradually give your heart then you will help ensure that God will be number one now, and after you are married. If you keep God first, then you are sure to have God's blessing on your engagement period, wedding day, and marriage.

As its been said before, "keep the main thing, the main thing." or ...That in all things he might have the preeminence...

And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.

Colossians 1:18