From Single to Family Man

It has just set in today. I have lived my life for 28 years single, but in just about 50 days I will have a wife, and we will start our family. I guess I always knew that one day I would make this transition, but having dinner with Samantha's parents at our future home, really made it sink in. Watching Samantha cook and serve, and set a wonderful spread, was more of a blessing then I ever thought it would be. Words cant really explain the feeling of watching the woman I am going to share my life with, do the things that she will be doing for me and our children for the rest of our live. I have always pictured it in my mind, but now its real, and it was worth the wait.

A family is a great responsibility, but its a greater joy. 

Tonight was like a glimpse into the future. Having family over, cooking for them, enjoying the night with some good ole Christ honoring conversation. I have thought over and over about the kind of home that I wanted to have. Not about the style or color, but about the spiritual atmosphere. This will be our home, and what we do in it must honor God.

I preached a message some time back about "the Home" and it really got me thinking about the way I need to be a leader of my wife and my home. If I fail to lead, our home will fail.

To those of you single folks, hoping to one day have a family.  Let me challenge you to seek God, prepare and be ready as much as possible for the one that God created for you. Then when that time comes, you wont have to spend that time preparing, but rather enjoying you spouse. Ladies learn to be a helpmeet, men learn to be servant leaders, and both learn how to fulfill the role that God has placed you in. 

Dont just long for a spouse, prepare for them. Prepare for your future family, learn how to care for a family, if you do you will be that much more ahead. The way to "find" a spouse is to prepare.

"Adam are you ready for a family?" "I am."

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:18-20

Below is a great book that helped Samantha and me in our preparation.

Fish Out of Water

Well for those that know me, I am most comfortable in a pair of Carhartt pants, some Nike running shoes, and a hoodie of some sort. So this event of getting fitted for a suit was quite the fish out of water experience!

From the moment I walked in I knew this wasn't going to be easy! Im a guy! I dont usually like shopping, let alone for clothes! I just want to see it on the rack, look to see if its relatively close to my size, buy it and be out of there in under 10 minutes. But fortunately I had Samantha with me and my mom to give their input on every jacket I was forced to try on. Yes forced!

There is something quite thrilling in knowing that you are putting on the suit that you will take your sacred wedding vows in. But as I tried on suits of all shapes and sizes, I got to thinking of the day that I will receive my heavenly wedding garment as I enter the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. What a wonderful picture of Salvation!

Mat 22:12

And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.

Today I am putting on my earthly wedding garment, and some day soon I will be robed in white, being ushered in to meet my bride-groom Jesus Christ. Are you prepared to meet Jesus?

Rev 19:7

Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.

There are few things as uncomfortable as being measured for clothing. It shatters all illusion that you are fit. We think in our minds "I'm doing good, im not bad, im not skinny but im still doing good." And we carry that hope with us day to day... until the tape measure comes out! That evil tool, has no mercy it tells the truth and cares very little for your pride or self esteem. It seems to almost mock you as it wraps its self around you!

But all kidding aside, being measured with a tape measure, got me thinking "Lord I pray that when my life here on this earth is done, and you take out your perfect ruler of what you wanted my life to be after I was saved, and how you wanted my life to be lived, Will I measure up?" When we stand before the Lord, and our works are tried by fire (the tape measure), there will be no sympathy, no embellishment. What we did for the Lord will be manifested right before our eyes, we will either be happy or full of shame. Lord help us to measure up while we still have time.

1Cr 3:13

Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.

Its very strange to have someone put on your shoes for you and then tie them, I can only image the feeling the Apostles felt as the Lord Jesus washed their feet. I can imagine the deep humility that would fill my soul.

Well I survived! This is just one step closer to the marriage altar. All in all it was a fun day. 

Im grateful for you Samantha.

P.S. Take a look at my fashion critics/experts!

Bethany’s Betrothal

Bethany Olsen, age twenty-two, desires nothing more than to be happily married. After having faced three heartbreaks, things aren’t looking so good. Realizing she can no longer endure the pain of rejection, Bethany promptly turns her back on courtship and leaves the choice of her mate entirely up to God. Not until she truly learns to put her full faith and trust in God, is Bethany granted the Divine betrothal she has been prayerfully seeking.----Sarah Lynn Shade 

Fist off let me say, that as an Independent fundamental Baptist, it is a great blessing to find books that are written by people of like faith, it produces a sense of security and enjoyment for me as I read. This is one of those books.

This is where it all began for me. I had never heard of Divine Betrothal, but somehow in my heart I always knew it existed. Even before I was saved I just believed that there was one person for me. I never felt like wasting my time with someone who wasn't the one I was going to marry. After I got saved and over time I just grew to accept what is commonly called "courtship". 

By courtship I mean the idea that you think this could be the one so you enter a relationship. This relationship has rules like no touching or kissing or being alone, but it is mostly designed to see if the couple is compatible. If they are, they progress to an engagement if not they break up and seek another relationship with someone else. In my experience "courtship" is nothing more then "Christian dating". And in most cases leads to heartbreak. Its a traumatic event to spend any time with some one that you think might be the one, to give pieces of your heart to them, only to find out that one or both feel its not right. 

I was listening to the vice-president of a Bible college preach and he said that "these young people (speaking of the students) are at least four people removed from who they will marry." I got to thinking about that. That means that at the best, there will be 6 broken hearts for every successful dating/courting relationship that ends in marriage. In my heart I was grieved and said "there has to be a better way". Anyone who has had a broken heart will sympathise and recognize how painful of a statistic that is. God never designed for us to have to date around to find the one that He created for us.

We have a dangerous combination, that of loneliness and courting/dating, and all it is producing is a lot of young people who are missing the perfect will of God for their lives, and causing many young people to live in depression and heart break. Instead of young people focusing on God and preparing for their future they are caught up in the boyfriend/girlfriend game.

 I know the feeling of loneliness. I know what it is like. I used to go to the mall and see all the "happy couples". It seemed like everyone had someone, and I had no one. When that feeling sets in, it can be very easy to seek a relationship for the very sake of companionship. In fact most boy/girl friendships end in a relationship because both have that desire to be loved and cared for. You might be in Bible college right now and you see all the "happy couples" and you think, "When Lord, when will my special someone come along." Im here to tell you, that if you leave the choice up to Him, He knows who that person is, He knows where they are, and He is preparing you for each other. The perfect will of God is alive right now somewhere, pray for them, prepare for them, and wait for them. If you are not 100% sure this person is God's will for your life, then wait, pray and seek the guidance of your parents and pastor. In fact I will go so far as to say that getting your authorities permission is a key to making sure you are doing it God's way.

Gen 2:22

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

God impressed upon my heart one day, after nights of Bible study and reading several books most specifically Bethany's Betrothal, that if God made one woman for Adam (Eve) and brought that one woman to Adam in his perfect timing then God would surly do that for this Adam (Me). God used this thought. "Adam how can you believe I will save your soul and take you to heaven when you die, but you can't believe that I will bring you the one I have created for you, to you in my time."  I pondered that thought over and over and decided to surrender to that truth.

I invite you to read the book that helped me finally trust God.  It is part of a series of books and even though it is listed under ladies, it has been very helpful. In fact 3 of the series of books is written from the man's perspective.

I invite you to do a little light reading and explore the world of Bethany's Betrothal. This book can be found at http://lcbplansing.org/Books/Ladies.

I suggest that you read them in order. And make sure to save the last book for the end.

You wil never regret doing things God's way. Keep checking back regularly as I continue to expand on what the Lord has taught me. God's way is the best way!

Marriage Takes Three

Marriage Takes Three

"Marriage takes three to be complete;

It's not enough for two to meet.

They must be united in love

by love's Creator, God above.

A marriage that follows God's Plan

takes more than a woman and a man.

It needs a oneness that can be 

only from Christ. Marriage takes three."

Beth Stuckwisch

The Value of Time

The Value of Time

Time, it never does what you want it to. When you are having so much fun it just seems to fly away. When you are tired and ready to go home and get in bed, it seems to drag on and on. For the person with a terminal illness it seems to pass so quickly, and yet to the child who wishes he was older it seems to never come.

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

James 4:14

I must admit this has been an exciting time for me. Time has flown so fast since November 20th. Yet at the same time it seems like it is taking an eternity to get to March 19th (Our wedding date). It seems like time moves so quickly when we think about all the things we need to plan for the wedding. Other times it seems like time is moving as slow as molasses, especially when I think of strolling the sandy beaches with my bride on our honeymoon.

Tonight Samantha and I were talking about time. How it can seem like we are spending so little time together now, but how we will be able to spend almost every moment with each other after the wedding.

Then God showed me this wonderful thought, the reason I am content with waiting till we are married is because I am looking forward to the marriage. Dont get me wrong I am having a blast being betrothed, but I do not intend to spend all my days betrothed, I am looking forward to the marriage!

So it is with us Christians, we are in this world but we are not of this world. We long for the day to see Jesus face to face. We are not living for earthly pleasures, but heavenly! We are here on this earth for a short time, and that short time ought to be dedicated to working for the Lord to get people saved from hell. We ought to not live our lives focused only on this world, but rather looking ahead to the day that we meet our bride-groom the Lord Jesus Christ. This time on this earth is like the engagement period. Sure we enjoy it, but that is not main goal. The main goal is the wedding, when we are raptured out of here and are brought to the marriage supper of the Lamb.

And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed [are] they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

Revelation 19:9

I must admit, I desire to be with Samantha so much, but I know that right now that is not the time for it. Now is the time to work and prepare for her. But I know that soon I will get to spend as much time with her as she will let me. We will get to ride in the same car, WITH OUT A CHAPERONE!  We will get to say goodnight in person and wake up in person. We will get to enjoy each other as God designed, with all purity. We will get to hold hands as much as we want, and even while walking into church!

Yes I'm excited to spend time with Samantha now, but I know that its just not practical to be with her all the time, nor is it healthy or wise. But I am content, with the limited time we have. Why? Because I am looking forward to a day when I will be her husband, and she my wife. And we get to be with each other forever.

P.S. Samantha, I want you to know that I treasure you so much and am so blessed to have the ability to share my life with you. I am so excited to travel through this life with you by my side. I am so excited to serve God in the ministry with you. I know God created you for me and me for you. Thank you.